bad news synthesized

Thanks for the late-great Steve Finch, who recently left Phnom Penh, and my apartment more pertinently, there is a crisp Phnom Penh Post newspaper delivered to my doorstep every morning. Though I am not sure how long this convenience will last, I am positive that I read the newspaper this morning (early midday to be precise) and noted a particular saturation of horrifying news.

Later in the day I read this article in Slate about the Yellow Journalism pioneered by Pullitzer and Hearst and while I do not intend to draw a parrelel between the editorial style of The Post today and New York-based tabloids in the late 19th century, I was inspired by this list of headlines to Yellowize yesterday's happenings in the Kingdom.

Here is the list Slate ran from the New York Herald circa 1900:

ABSINTHE HIS BANE
ITALIAN FATALLY STABBED
INQUIRY ABOUT POISON GAS
FEROCIOUS DOG MANGLES A BOY
SINGER ENDS LIFE
THEY TRIED TO DIE TOGETHER

Here is the list I ran inspired by The Phnom Penh Post circa 2011. 

      HUNDREDS FAINT IN FACTORY
      SEX FORCED ON BEERGIRLS
      WIFE DOUSES & IGNITES HUSBAND
      KOH KONG KING OVERRULED
      2 VIETNAMESE RAPE FISHERMAN"S GIRL
      SOLDIERS MOONLIGHT IN ILLEGAL LOGGING
      HUSBAND STABS WIFE SIX TIMES
      RAPIST, 26, SAYS VICTIM, 13, WAS PLATONIC GIRLFRIEND
      BROTHER MURDERED OVER DEAD CHICKEN*

Check out phnompenhpost.com to see the full stories. The oversimplification was purposeful, of course, just an exercise in boistrous headline writing.

*Headline as it appeared in The Post